A quickie

Life is amazing, I am in denial about leaving, leave for Ethiopia early morning tomorrow. All my love! Lala Salama (good night)

Almost Doesn't Count

Kendal always used to tell me "Anna, the road to hell is paved with good intentions", and its so very true. All too often we have a good intention and then we forget it, find it too difficult to carry out or just don't care enough to follow through with it, thus it goes no where, the good intention has been in vane. Thus, almost doesn't count. This isn't a new concept to anyone nor is it something that is brilliant; however, it is something that we need to be reminded of each day, at least I do. In the past few days Bridget and Becki arrived. Bridget is a fabulous woman from Ireland who comes often and spreads the love with Nyumbani, Leo Toto and Dagoretti 4 Kids. Becki is the volunteer coordinator and just a joy to be with in any situation. The two go hand in hand because these amazing women have helped me to realize the aforementioned point, almost doesn't count. Today Bridget invited me to Dagoretti for Kids (D4K) with her, a play I thought about volunteering at, but it didn't work out. About 20 boys live there, but it is a home to over a hundred boys. They work on getting kids off the street and dealing with street kids drug additions. Bridget had brought a little girl she had gotten close with to Nyumbani yesterday and then I later realized that the point was for more than a good meal and play time, it was so that she could see her brother who stays at D4K. Because D4K only houses boys and because there was mistreatment in her living situation she stays somewhere else, creating a broken, yet oddly enough healthy family. Her brother was not there he was with his grandma and so we walked there, well no one was home so one of the boys looked a little further in the village, and he was still no where to be found, in a bit of disappointment we walked home. The little girl looked down at the ground and decided it would be ok, as she had always been before and we began to walk back, just then one of the older boys began yelling and sure enough there he was, the smiling face of her brother who she hadn't seen in quiet some time. Bridget brought them toys, candy, bubbles, sports equipment and was sure to ask for shoe sizes, clothing, and what else was needed around; she is truly their angel. The facility wasn't much but everything was kept up and Bridget made sure that everything was in line and that they had everything that they needed. She knew that a missing bucket from the well, no school shoes, no football and other things may hinder these kids turning from boys to men. All of it made me realize that the choices I make everyday may not affect the lives of others, but that if I make a conscious effort my choices could make the world of a difference for many. Its a hard thing to attempt to analyze. It's hard when I keep telling myself "someday" yet so many need it today. It is this reason that I really would like to find a job working on human rights and African policy, as I believe in my heart that I can make a difference. I suppose the idea that I am not able to afford sponsoring building a well, flying back, etc will get me on the plane and give me motivation to work harder so that I may in time reach for a higher goal and see myself much like I see all of the other volunteers here, the ones who have been here 5, 10, 15 times. I will be back and I will make a difference.

Whatcha ganna do when they come for you?

Police ranked most corrupt institution in Kenya ... any my mother wonders why I wouldnt call the '911' here. :)

But I dont want to leave [insert foot stomp and pouting noise]

This is the view from Elizabeth's window its of the school house. Above the trees is the hostel and to the far right is the basketball court. So that is what I spy with my little eye.
Elizabetha and I. Just thought you'd like to see the fabulous woman I live with, oh, she is wonderful!
The older girls and I. I gave them my camera for a few hours and it was like Model Time, they filled up my memory card in about 2.2 seconds and even found out how to use the video function. AH, I'm reallllllly going to miss the older girls a lot.


As you can see Ive found a way to get pictures on here that doesn't take 200 hours, so I thought you would enjoy them.

And then some... Questions posted and my responses:

How old are you? I feel like I'm an 8 year old, but I'm really 22
What do you do for a living? I recently graduated and am currently job searching
When & how was your service of the Kenyan children started? My first trip to Kenya was in 2005 and it forever changed my life. I left a piece of my heart here and made a promise to myself that no matter what I will come back. It was then that I first visited Nyumbani and I was only here for a day, but I knew this was a vision of God and that I would work my hardest to come back.
If you're married or into a relationship? I have 101 loves of my life right here and its going to be so hard to leave them. :) Other than that, no.

Life, an oxymoron.

Time seems to be passing both slower and faster than normal; slower on days when the weather is rainy, cold and my health seems to react with the lack of warm showers and excess of cold nights but much faster when I realize the short amount of time I have left with the children, the lessons left to plan and the time left to play. Seems like an oxymoron at first but after I explain it I bet it makes just as much sense to you as day and night. Yesterday we did have sun, beautiful sun. So hot that we were able to have hot showers, in fact I may have 3^rd degree burns. No, really. It had been so long since I had felt the warmth that it overcame me and I didn't want to turn the cold water on, even if it did hurt. This is the life of simple pleasures. So what have I been up to?

Did I mention that the Marquette group came? If I didn't, I'm crazy! Greg and the Watumishi group came to Nyumbani for a day and it was amazing. If I did already write that fast forward though this part. We had some Dutch-Kenya dance/music/drama/acrobat group come and do a performance and they came to see that as well as visit with the kids. The kids, as usual, were their welcoming selves and I hope Marquette group enjoyed themselves. Greg actually came back the next day as well, which was a special treat. Seeing a familiar face is really luxury here. It was his last day and knowing he spent it here made the kids (and me) feel pretty special. The kids were even asking about him once he left. Having someone to converse with who really understands both where you're coming from and where things could be going makes a world of a difference and thus the Watu group was that difference.

Class is going well, English is much easier for me to teach because I find that around the world it is taught pretty much the same whereas math has many different methods and I struggle to break my habits and jump into their way of teaching math. Class seems enjoyable most everyday as the kids are used to sitting, listening and worksheets. While growing up, if I had just that, I don't think I would have made it this far, as I am a hands-on learner; the various types of learning seems to be both a foreign and unattainable concept in the 3^rd world. It isn't a priority mainly because it cant be; imagine a classroom of 60 kids, there is no way you could be doing hands on and still have them all under control. There is no advanced placement, visual learning, or exploration of kids talents; this leads to many kids failing because their abilities aren't being catered to, which is extremely unfortunate. In school, I was never the brightest kid, but I was always creative and willing to try hard and because of that my teachers helped me where I needed it and allowed me to expand on my creativity. My science report may have gotten a B- but my diorama box was always on display by the principles office. All these things, even the fact that I remember them, goes to show how much of a difference the little things make in the lives of children. Through this summer program the students are able to explore their talents and able to learn in a different way than they are used to, which puts them a step above the rest of the children, but that is only if they have the drive and many of them lack the drive.

Over time, I have realized that I don't write much about the volunteers here, which is a bit ironic, because they are a huge part of my life. Day and night we spend together and they really are a motivational force for being here. Together we find a way to survive, whether its through the sassy children, the rains or finding fun things to do on the weekends as a means of release from here. Anita left last night, its crazy, I feel like she just arrived. Anita was the caffeine of the group, she could spark and fire, start any conversation and dance and moves. Next will be Elizabeth and then me. It seems a bit like dominoes, we are all starting to go, one by one. Elizabeth is a bit homesick I think, she has been her for three months now and is used to much finer things in life. She may be going tomorrow or the day after. Its going to be crazy waking up without her, I'm really going to miss her. Even with the age difference, the language barrier and the stark contrast in personality, we seems to make quiet a pair. Beth is here for a year and I think I'm going to have to live through her when I leave, we have really become close in the past few months and she seems to keep me sane when times get tough. She is from Boston and I'm sure that once she gets back I will be visiting her regularly as she is an amazing woman and Nyumbani is very lucky to have her. Natalie and Kierstin are two other girls that are here and they make every morning sunny, regardless of the down pouring rain. They come as a pair, but are both very unique. Kierstin will be in Kenya for another few months and then traveling to Senegal. Natalie is on the same job hunt but in a different line (I hope she is having better luck). Kierstin can find good in any situation and Natalie is able to laugh at anything; two admirable traits. Gaia and Paul are a young married couple Gaia is Italian and Paul is Irish, but together they are a world of fun. They both seem to have found their niche at Nyumbani very fast and are never shy to help out where they are needed. In fact, they both gone above their tasks and created some real change here, but you wouldn't know it by their actions as both are as humble as can be. Donna and Deb the wonderful neighbors we are lucky to have, they will be moving to a house Friday and though I am happy for them they will be very missed. They provide the wisdom, backbone and insight that is often missing into my understandings of things, they truly are making their own path in life and for that they should be admired. And then of course there is Susan, whose blog I linked you two, she is crazy, fun, amazing, and spunky. She inst around much as she is usually instilling change in an unchanging world or entertaining her many guests, but when she is her we are all happy to see her.

At the beginning of my time here Cait asked me some questions and I thought it would be neat to go over some questions, just as food for thought. If you have any, post them and Id be happy to answer. Otherwise, a few from Cait before and additional ones are:

• What's my biggest fear?

My biggest fear is that I will have not made a difference and that my time here will be in vane. Deep down I know that every hug, every 'I love you', every moment matters, but I'm truly afraid that the second I leave will negate all of that. If I were a small child I would think 'If she really loved me she would stay' or 'Go figure, another one gone'. As a child we don't understand the world of bills, jobs, etc and we don't care, which is a good thing but it hinders the ability of theirs to understand that its not them and that is what I am afraid of, I don't want to be another person to leave these children orphaned. Thus I have promised that I will come back, no matter what it takes.

• What do I miss the most?

I miss being able to communicate with people, just call someone when you need to talk or walk to a friends house or text someone to let them know you are thinking about them. We have internet here and I have a cell phone but the internet doesn't always work, I'm usually busy and its crazy expensive to call people. So really, I miss being able to speak with all of you.

• What will I miss the most?

Like this is even possible to answer. I will miss every moment I spend with the kids. I will especially miss the moments where they believe they can do it and where they are finally believing in themselves. I will miss the times with the volunteers. I will miss Sunday mass where we all come together in a mass led by children with angels all around. I will miss the boys. I will really miss the boys and their acting, their jokes, their funny way of things. I will miss the little ones. I will miss Edel calling me her best friend and the smile she has on her face. I will miss Dicksons crazy, what may be gangster, dancing. I will miss getting new children and watching them change and grow in just a short while. I will miss hearing the new ideas from the children and watching then develop into plans of action and then seeing the delight and pride on their faces. I will miss the older girls confiding in me with different stories and feelings. I will miss Nyumbani. I will miss Kenya. I will miss Africa.

Strike a pose

School at the Village in Kitui
The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust Elephant Orphanage where we got to play with baby elephants.
Paul and I in the boys cottage.

A day in the life of me...

The Birthday Party in July with my favorite gang! :)
The Nyumbani Volunteers who hiked the Ngong Hills. This is the only sign on the top... it reminds us not to litter. :)
Paul and Moses has birthdays this month and it was sooooooo fun!
Luke, Edel, Jospeh and I. Edel was the only girl I met the first time I came to Nyumbani, she is the reason Im here today! She's is an Angel.

Rebels with a Cause

So contrary to the absense in blogs, I havent gone missing rather I have just been rather busy. So what have I been up to youd like to know? Well weve have new volunteers, lots of teaching, adventures, job and apartment searching, kids everywhere, a bit of sickness and planning a trip to Ethiopia. Yes, yes, Beth and I are going to Ethiopia it took a bit of a hassel, but we finally have everything set to go we will be leaving August 29th and going for 5 days. Weve had birthday parties, which are the best days ever because we get cake and ice cream and have lots of fun. The following day 10 kids went to Ireland, courtesy of of the Irish Nyumbani Board. They were so excited and it will be a wonderful experience for them. Ten days of travel is sure to leave them tired and sleep but just as well storied tellers for days to come. The oldest and one of the first boys here at Nyumbani has left to live on his own. This is a land mark in time for Nyumbani as he is the first to set foot outside by choice on his own. He is an inspiration to all of the other kids and such a shining example to everyone he encounters. We had a good bye party for him with singing, acting, and lots of wishes and blessings. Which reminds me of what I have yet to write about.. the first. There seem to be many firsts since Ive been here. We have our first girl going to University. The first boy moving out. There is more, but this sinus infection is really making me a bit woozy which makes me forget things. Things are wonderful but I must go to Nairobi, we shall chat later.

Maybe Common Sense isnt so Common Any More

This wise proverb came from Simon, a previous employee of Nyumbani, who I met through Kat and Beth, other volunteers. It was funny at the time but the longer I am here the more it makes sense. Today may have been my hardest day in Kenya; I didn't think that would actually happen. The day started out well with class and clubs. After that I supervise the children cleaning. Yesterday went very well, the kids worked hard and really had fun with it. Today, however was a whole new ball game. I didn't think that I had an cruel alter-ego, but she sure came out today. After only 10 minutes it was "I'm tired", "My arms hurt" "We have to do ALL this", "I don't want to sweep". The kids have to do these chores twice a week, aside from their cottage duties and by the reactions from the kids you'd think it was murder. Since it's only an hour of work I tried to make it fun; after they refused the fun I was just was making sure they were doing their work. It was very frustrating and a sure test of patience. I kept thinking that these kids dont live in the "real Kenya" and if they did they would be thanking for only having to do 1 hour of work. If they dont learn now, Im afraid they never will. These kids need a har work ethic if they are going to make it in "life after Nyumbani", which is why I couldnt just say "fine, we'll sweep, go play". However we managed to get through it and some kids were REALLY good. I made sure to give them candy. :) Judge if you will. After lunch a few of us needed to head into Karen and much to our surprise the walk was a bit different than usual. The local kiosks where we buy our fruits and veggies (from my friend Elizabeth) were completely demolished. They aren't much just tin shacks and wooden stands, but to these people they are their livelihoods. Our hearts sang, our minds lost... what could have happened. Trucks were hauling the tin and wood aways, people were in groups almost mourning and things looked misplaced. Was there a fire? Had mungiki, a local gang, been here? What happened? We looked for Elizabeth to ask her and to give her some support, even money but she was no where in sight. Finally, I couldn't take it. "Ma am, do you know what happened?", "Um, yah, the city council came". That was it, it was like a fact of life for her, as if a routine obstacle in life, it was sad. People are making a living here, they are selling local crops, they are cheaper for the residents and are harmless to the community. Maybe common sense isn't so common anymore. I shouldn't assume but I can guess that one of two things happened, either Nakumatt (the Kenyan Wal-mart) put up a fuss because they were losing money. A mango from Elizabeth is ksh 20 and a mango from Nakumatt is ksh 83; to give you a general idea. Or since Karen is FULL of British Kenyans who are very wealthy or as my friend Greg calls them "Kenyan Cowboys" they may put up a fuss about the way they look. Karen is a very nice city, in fact almost Western and these kiosks don't really "fit in". Maybe I am wrong, but either way it is an unfortunate event. Even worse is that this is a fact of life for Kenyans. Anyone who resides on government property is prepare to lose everything in a day. Whats the point? Its lost on me, that's for sure. Maybe to prove a point, maybe to encourage them to buy land, maybe there isn't a point. Jobs are hard enough to come by with a college education and now they are taking away jobs from these people. People without jobs creates idleness, idleness creates poverty, crime and inequality. There is no one way I can see this as being a good thing and yet there isn't a thing these people can do. Frustration. Anger. Fear. Chaos. No wonder crime, poverty and disease are so high, the government is the initiating factor of a horribly sick cycle. Sometimes there is no silver lining, sometimes life just isn't fair, sometimes you just have to pray. Maybe common sense isn't so common anymore.

Another's perspective

I thought you would enjoy a view from someone elses perspective of their experiences in Kenya. Susan is a Fulbright Scholar from Madison, Wisconsin working on her Certificate in Global Health. She runs Sex-Ed courses here in Kenya and is really making a mark. She has been here since I think January and will be here for a total of 10 months. Susan is a phenomenal woman who is working hard to change the youth in Kenya; she is really an inspiration. Check out what she has to say. Peace and Love.

Green in Tanzania

Mark Green, the former Congressional Representative for the 8th district of Wisconsin (Green Bay) and former Gubernatorial candidate, has been named Ambassador to Tanzania. I knew he was bidding for the Kenya spot if he didn't get elected as Governor in the last race but he must have move to Tanzania since Kenya has such a stronghold on it. Although I don't much agree with the politics of this man he is a genuine politician who has worked very hard in his life. His wife and he actually did some teaching, I think through the Peace Corp, here in Kenya. My mother passed the word onto me and I thought you would enjoy the news. Congrats to him and his family. Tanzania is a beautiful country with even kinder people. To all of those who are commenting, thank you. I sincerely appreciate your kind words and gestures. Unfortunately I am limited with the time I have free and thus I am unable to comment and read all of your blogs. I have read all of your comments and they are appreciated. Since you are pretty much only getting my perspective I thought Id share some inspiring words from my mom that I got today that lifted my spirits. :) THANKS! "It was so good to talk to you, just hearing your voice. I could hear your frustration and wish I could help somehow. You want to do so much over there in so little time, with so little resources. Just remember, you are giving your love, heart and soul right now and touching lives. You are making a difference in some of these kids futures. You will be part of them, forever." As always, peace and love.

Justice!

How could I forget? Wednesday Elizabeth and I went to the Fr. Kaiser Inquest at the High Court in Nairobi. Fr. Kaiser was a Mill Hill Missionary from the Minn. who was killed in Kenya 7 years ago. However the Kenyan government and the FBI said that he committed suicide, which was completely bogus. After 7 years and a lot of pushing by Amnesty International, Justice and Peace and more importantly local clergy, sisters, bishops and friends the Magistrate ruled that it was murder and that it should remain and open verdict. The news went crazy. The courtroom was packed and the was an overwhelming sense of joy after the Magistrate made her ruling. This also allowed me to see the court system, its inadequacies and how things do function. It took us nearly 3 hours to find the right room and time once we arrived at the court house. It was well worth it, as the support we overwhelming and the ruling just. It took 7 years, but the anti-corruption court in Kenya made a fair ruling. Elizabeth and I also made it into the local papers and 2 local news stations. :)

Buffalo Soldier

Idleness on the blog usually means exciting things for me here. Apparently things haven't been so idle in the blog world as you may have noticed by the various postings. This blog, surprisingly, has made it to the "Blogs of Note". What does that mean? Well, I'm still wondering myself. However, what I have learned is that on the main blogger.com page there is a link to my blog which has led various individuals to my page who have them made comments. For all those strangers and friends from around the world thank you for the kind words, they are much appreciated. Wednesday Fr. O' Brien, Stan, and Peter (the Les Aspin Marquette crew) landed in for a visit while they are here working on their USAID Anti-corruption training program. My heart was a glow the moment I saw their faces, both from the site of good friends and familiar faces. They hung out for a while and then took off. They were kind enough to invite me to Safari Park Hotel for their conference, which I was quick to take them up on. I was only able to attend for Friday, but it was a lovely day (even if it did take 2.5 hours to get there). I then got to see Cephas as well. For those of you who don't know Cephas, Fr. O' Brien and Stan were my professors when I studied in Washington, DC and when I came to Kenya and Tanzania in 2005. They are friends, family, mentors and a true inspiration. Being there allowed me the chance to listen to a insightful speaker as well as interact with East African professionals and diplomats; a much needed time away. Friday we rose with the sun and traveled to Kitui. This time it was to show Stan and Peter the footings. Gaia, Paul, Kierstin, Natalie, Peter, Stan, and I all ventured the 3 hours roller-coaster like ride to see the experimental work in progress that is the Nyumbani Village. Seeing it a second time allowed me to catch the things I had missed the first time. Also, Colonzo, the social worker, showed us around instead of Nicolas, the Village Manger, giving a whole new outlook on things. The 80 km takes much longer with Friday Nairobi traffic, so the migraine kicked in hard. Having migraines here is a bit of a struggle. Traveling, long days, hot weather, and other random things trigger them. However, its just one more fact of life that puts me on the same level as the kids; not always being at 100% but having to live like I am. Some common side effects of HIV are headaches, mouth sores, nausea, abdominal pain, etc. Its really unfortunate and rather hard. I was never the kid who had to get out of the soccer game early or the one who had to take their inhaler before gym class; but these things really do impact a child's life. Ironically though, these things are hitting me later in life. Allergies, migraines, and well that's about it. See, I don't have much to complain about. Thus, we should all thank God for what we don't have. :) Have you ever thought about that, thanking God for what you don't have? I'm going to say my prayers tonight for what I don't have. Interesting, huh. Today we went to the Sheldrick Elephant Orphanage... say it all together now... awwww. We got to pet them and watch them play. Oh it was fun fun! After we had some pizza, relaxed, went to a Masaii shot and Mat-ed home. Good day! Today, however, I am reminded of how everything is a 'process' here in Kenya. If I want to make a call, print pictures, go to town, do anything really, there needs to be a lot of time, patience and flexibility involved. I will give you a few examples so that you may better understand my points. Today we wanted to go to see the elephants, well the feeding is only between 11 and 12. So we are near so we leave at 10. We walk to town (ok), must bargain for a Mat (annoying, but fine), the Mat goes to the wrong stop, we get off ask the Park woman if we can walk through she says no, you must go around, bargain for another Mat going back the same way we just came from, check our book to make sure its going the right way, get off, walk 2 km to the park, get the wrong direction and have small children tell us which way to go, and finally arrive there at 11:30 with 30 minutes to see the lil buggers. I have many examples, but I think you get the point. This is by no means me complaining or upset, the day was a good one; however, this is what most things take to get around here. Life is not the simple 1,2,3 that we are used to, especially for foreigners who don't know the system and who they try to over charge. So my patience is being developed on a much greater scale than Id ever though. If you thought nothing bothered me before, oh, now its really going to take a lot. ha. It's really been a learning adventure, which is good. Monday class starts. YAY! If you have any good ideas for Drama, Id love to hear them. Cephas invited me to some fancy smancy dinner next Friday as well. I believe it as at the house of a UN official. After being with children all day, one of the things I really miss is politics and conversations concerning the like. Being at the Les Aspin/USAID Conference really made me feel at home. At home because I was able to speak and understand African politics. In fact, one of the women actually approached me and asked how long Ive been here for and I said 'two months'. She was shocked and said that 'you seem as though you know the politics, people and culture so well'. It was a compliment that I took to heart; took to heart because it is something I have worked to achieve. As much as I can get my hands on them I'm reading the news papers, watching the news, taking in what the kids are reading during homework time about farming, history, etc., doing homestays, traveling alone, doing things the Kenyan way instead of the 'tourist way', always asking questions and most importantly having an open mind and being willing to listen to whoever around me wants to talk. Through all those ways I am able to par-take in a conversation concerning African politics and not only understand but also contribute and contribute with a perspective that inst Western, but an open minded one. Another woman compared me to Hillary Clinton and asked me to speak to a Youth Convention. My shock blew her away. Although I was honored, I think she may have seen more than what I am. I don't know, Ive noticed that its a whole new ball game here and I'm going to have to kick my ego back into place before I head back and find a job in DC where I will be lucky to find a job. However, I'm realizing that my standards are high. I don't think I'm willing to open mail for 6 months before I get to read the mail. I don't think I'm willing to be answering the phones for someone. Maybe this will all change, maybe it wont. All I know is there is a lot of change to be done in the world and not contributing to some sort of change will eat me alive. It isn't because I think I'm 'above' mail or phones, no no. Heck, I sweep and mop here. It isn't that at all, I just want to be making change is all. There is so much to be done. Why Buffalo Soldier as the title? No reason really, other than the fact that the music video was playing in the Mat today and I LOVE Bob Marley! :) Its a good song. If you've never listened to the lyrics or researched the history, Id suggest you do, makes you appreciate it a bit more. Alright, dinner time. Have a wonderful day! Again, thanks for all the comments and emails, they really keep me motivated and inspired. You are all angels on Earth, bless you. Peace and love.