Comfort Relativism

Crossing into a place where you are out of your comfort zone and into unknown territory is a feeling both familiar and unsettling. No, not the ‘too close for personal space’ or the ‘get up off me’ feeling. What I’m talking about is the core, what defines who you are and how far you will go for what you believe. At what point do you stop stepping outside of that box and quiver a bit before stepping back in? I suppose you never really know the answer until put into a situation. People seem so impressed, enthralled and taken back that I would spend two months of my life in Pakistan. But what they don’t realize is that I’m not very far out of my comfort zone. Sure, they is a slight fear that the windows of this Marriott are going to blast through any second, but I am in luxury hotel. I am in a luxury hotel while working on a project for people who can’t return to their homes, with people who are afraid every time they step outside, with people who march for justice, but could be shot at any second. When we think about comfort zones we think about them in a personal comparative context. But compare my zone to that of the millions of IDPs (Internally Displaced Persons), doesn’t seem so bad. Heck, I’m living like a queen. Speaking of living like a queen, you know I like to throw in my awkward stories, because, well, it’s my life – so here goes the latest. So, as you know, I’m staying at the Marriott and it has been bombed twice, therefore the staffing and security are ridiculous. The staffing ,I would say, is about 20 to 1. Yes, 20 staff members per guest. This is not an exaggeration, I’m friendly, but I feel like Mr. Roger’s walking out my room greeting the staff in masses. Anyway, because they are over staffed they have different people for each task. Someone to change the mini bar, someone else to fluff the pillows, someone else to bring the newspaper, someone else to clean the shower, ok, you get the idea. Well, I arrive at 4am and tough through it all, go out to lunch with a co-worker, go to the market and return back to my hotel to work a bit. I’m spent, so I lay down to take a nap. After having gotten up two times to answer the door, one for fresh water and one for a new flowers, I assume the brigade that is the Marriott staffing unit has done their duties for the day, so I rest. As I doze off, I hear a noise. Keeping in mind that I have dead bolted my door, I lay back down and assumed I’m just jet legged and over tired. Nope, not true, I lift up my sleep mask (that’s right, I own a sleep mask), and there is yet another Marriott staff member, he nearly throws the plate of fruit in the air as I scream in shock. I am in my dress from the day (which is not appropriate for any man to see me in by cultural standards). When going out I wore the dress, which I am currently laying in with pants and a scarf. “Sorry, ma’am, ah, sorry, sorry”, he says backing out into the door as I ensure my WHOLE body is covered. So, needless to say, I was awake after my encounter with the Marriott man. This is about the equivalent of the repair man catching you coming out of the shower. Oh, don’t worry, that has also happened to me. Now, you might be thinking ‘so, your deadbolt doesn’t work’, yes, I am thinking the same thing. I am meeting with my security director and the manager tomorrow, mean while, I have an escape route planned through my window … kidding. For now I have put the “I like thinks in place” sign outside my door. No, that is not a typo on my end, it is really what the door hangie says and I am assuming it means do not disturb. I thought about writing that on it, but didn’t want to get the wrap as the sassy girl on my first night. So there you have it, a bit of food for thought from me and as always, an awkward travel story. No worries, I’m sure there are plenty more to come, as I tend to thrive in awkward situations. Like today when we were meeting with a Commissioner and his two puppies were licking my crotch, yes, just another day in the life of Anna. No, but really, it is those moments when you are outside your comfort zone, outside what you know to be true, walking down a new path, it is those moments when you learn the most about both yourself and the world. Here is to a new journey and hopefully stepping outside of what I know to be true.

Believe.

My father once told me "believe none of what you hear, half of what you see and all of what you believe".   Wise words from a wise man.  Before I came to Pakistan I was nervous, of course I was, the news only shows the Taliban and suicide bombers, the forget to mention the people who are fighting for their country and the children working for an education.  Last night we enjoyed good food and great company at the Marriott; yes, the one that was bombed in 2007.    Our staff here is more welcoming than ever, offering to take us to the historic villages and see the sights, go shopping and tour the villages.  On the compound we have an amazing gardener who works for little to nothing, the place looks like a botanical heaven, being outside in near perfect 80 degree weather is  to die for.  People here work hard, they do.  They work hard because they know the mission of the project - change.  They want change in their lives and they want change for the people of Pakistan.  They admire the International people for being here, they are grateful.   Tomorrow a few of us are going to the Diplomatic Enclave - yah, probably about as yuppie as it sounds - for a bazaar.  The USG has cracked down a bit and really don't let the staff out, so they have decided to bring in the fun - and invited us!   We have some high rollers on our project with special clearance and I am going to ride on their coat tails all the way through the US Embassy gates.    Beyond the fun, I am working, working hard.  Working for change with the people.  I am working on the systems and process management of the project so that they can focus on the real mission.  Next time you see Pakistan on the news, think of me.  Think of the project I am working on and the people I am working with.  Think of the change they want.  Think of the change we all want.  Think if every news story was so wrong as that one.  Maybe my father is right - isn't he always!  Believe none of what you hear, half of what you see and all of what you believe.  All of what you believe.   I believe in change.  

Safe is a Relative Term

Wanted to let you know that I have arrived safe and sound in Islamabad. Pakistan is lovely, not what you see on the news at all. Made some friends on the way and am really enjoying myself. The 13 hour flight to Dubai seemed like three and the three hour flight to Islamabad turned into seven because of a thunderstorm, but no worries. Our Country Security Director was there to pick us up and we arrived at our location safe and sound. I'm riding out the jet-leg, going on 30+ hours, I think, and meeting all of the staff here. Everyone is very welcoming. I will be traveling to Peshawar next Tuesday, which I am really excited about, as our project is based out of Peshawar. For those of your who I didn't get a chance to tell you about this trip in detail, I'm working on a capacity building project in Pakistan. The border between Pakistan and Afghanistan, as you can imagine, Pakistan doesn't have the most stable government. However, the people want change and they are willing to work for it. Our project, with the help of USAID (State Dept.) funding, is attempting to assist in that process. Building a government, however, is no easy task.  Learing tons, getting my hands dirty and truly enjoying myself. Nothing to worry about, all is safe here, in the best of hands.