Life, an oxymoron.

Time seems to be passing both slower and faster than normal; slower on days when the weather is rainy, cold and my health seems to react with the lack of warm showers and excess of cold nights but much faster when I realize the short amount of time I have left with the children, the lessons left to plan and the time left to play. Seems like an oxymoron at first but after I explain it I bet it makes just as much sense to you as day and night. Yesterday we did have sun, beautiful sun. So hot that we were able to have hot showers, in fact I may have 3^rd degree burns. No, really. It had been so long since I had felt the warmth that it overcame me and I didn't want to turn the cold water on, even if it did hurt. This is the life of simple pleasures. So what have I been up to?

Did I mention that the Marquette group came? If I didn't, I'm crazy! Greg and the Watumishi group came to Nyumbani for a day and it was amazing. If I did already write that fast forward though this part. We had some Dutch-Kenya dance/music/drama/acrobat group come and do a performance and they came to see that as well as visit with the kids. The kids, as usual, were their welcoming selves and I hope Marquette group enjoyed themselves. Greg actually came back the next day as well, which was a special treat. Seeing a familiar face is really luxury here. It was his last day and knowing he spent it here made the kids (and me) feel pretty special. The kids were even asking about him once he left. Having someone to converse with who really understands both where you're coming from and where things could be going makes a world of a difference and thus the Watu group was that difference.

Class is going well, English is much easier for me to teach because I find that around the world it is taught pretty much the same whereas math has many different methods and I struggle to break my habits and jump into their way of teaching math. Class seems enjoyable most everyday as the kids are used to sitting, listening and worksheets. While growing up, if I had just that, I don't think I would have made it this far, as I am a hands-on learner; the various types of learning seems to be both a foreign and unattainable concept in the 3^rd world. It isn't a priority mainly because it cant be; imagine a classroom of 60 kids, there is no way you could be doing hands on and still have them all under control. There is no advanced placement, visual learning, or exploration of kids talents; this leads to many kids failing because their abilities aren't being catered to, which is extremely unfortunate. In school, I was never the brightest kid, but I was always creative and willing to try hard and because of that my teachers helped me where I needed it and allowed me to expand on my creativity. My science report may have gotten a B- but my diorama box was always on display by the principles office. All these things, even the fact that I remember them, goes to show how much of a difference the little things make in the lives of children. Through this summer program the students are able to explore their talents and able to learn in a different way than they are used to, which puts them a step above the rest of the children, but that is only if they have the drive and many of them lack the drive.

Over time, I have realized that I don't write much about the volunteers here, which is a bit ironic, because they are a huge part of my life. Day and night we spend together and they really are a motivational force for being here. Together we find a way to survive, whether its through the sassy children, the rains or finding fun things to do on the weekends as a means of release from here. Anita left last night, its crazy, I feel like she just arrived. Anita was the caffeine of the group, she could spark and fire, start any conversation and dance and moves. Next will be Elizabeth and then me. It seems a bit like dominoes, we are all starting to go, one by one. Elizabeth is a bit homesick I think, she has been her for three months now and is used to much finer things in life. She may be going tomorrow or the day after. Its going to be crazy waking up without her, I'm really going to miss her. Even with the age difference, the language barrier and the stark contrast in personality, we seems to make quiet a pair. Beth is here for a year and I think I'm going to have to live through her when I leave, we have really become close in the past few months and she seems to keep me sane when times get tough. She is from Boston and I'm sure that once she gets back I will be visiting her regularly as she is an amazing woman and Nyumbani is very lucky to have her. Natalie and Kierstin are two other girls that are here and they make every morning sunny, regardless of the down pouring rain. They come as a pair, but are both very unique. Kierstin will be in Kenya for another few months and then traveling to Senegal. Natalie is on the same job hunt but in a different line (I hope she is having better luck). Kierstin can find good in any situation and Natalie is able to laugh at anything; two admirable traits. Gaia and Paul are a young married couple Gaia is Italian and Paul is Irish, but together they are a world of fun. They both seem to have found their niche at Nyumbani very fast and are never shy to help out where they are needed. In fact, they both gone above their tasks and created some real change here, but you wouldn't know it by their actions as both are as humble as can be. Donna and Deb the wonderful neighbors we are lucky to have, they will be moving to a house Friday and though I am happy for them they will be very missed. They provide the wisdom, backbone and insight that is often missing into my understandings of things, they truly are making their own path in life and for that they should be admired. And then of course there is Susan, whose blog I linked you two, she is crazy, fun, amazing, and spunky. She inst around much as she is usually instilling change in an unchanging world or entertaining her many guests, but when she is her we are all happy to see her.

At the beginning of my time here Cait asked me some questions and I thought it would be neat to go over some questions, just as food for thought. If you have any, post them and Id be happy to answer. Otherwise, a few from Cait before and additional ones are:

• What's my biggest fear?

My biggest fear is that I will have not made a difference and that my time here will be in vane. Deep down I know that every hug, every 'I love you', every moment matters, but I'm truly afraid that the second I leave will negate all of that. If I were a small child I would think 'If she really loved me she would stay' or 'Go figure, another one gone'. As a child we don't understand the world of bills, jobs, etc and we don't care, which is a good thing but it hinders the ability of theirs to understand that its not them and that is what I am afraid of, I don't want to be another person to leave these children orphaned. Thus I have promised that I will come back, no matter what it takes.

• What do I miss the most?

I miss being able to communicate with people, just call someone when you need to talk or walk to a friends house or text someone to let them know you are thinking about them. We have internet here and I have a cell phone but the internet doesn't always work, I'm usually busy and its crazy expensive to call people. So really, I miss being able to speak with all of you.

• What will I miss the most?

Like this is even possible to answer. I will miss every moment I spend with the kids. I will especially miss the moments where they believe they can do it and where they are finally believing in themselves. I will miss the times with the volunteers. I will miss Sunday mass where we all come together in a mass led by children with angels all around. I will miss the boys. I will really miss the boys and their acting, their jokes, their funny way of things. I will miss the little ones. I will miss Edel calling me her best friend and the smile she has on her face. I will miss Dicksons crazy, what may be gangster, dancing. I will miss getting new children and watching them change and grow in just a short while. I will miss hearing the new ideas from the children and watching then develop into plans of action and then seeing the delight and pride on their faces. I will miss the older girls confiding in me with different stories and feelings. I will miss Nyumbani. I will miss Kenya. I will miss Africa.